Thursday, November 25, 2010

The Fall..

The air was cold.. wet.. it grazed through my hair like fish in water.. i could see the cookie color rocks staring at me.. waiting to ponce on me.. i was falling.. to my death..

They say your whole life flashes before your eyes before you die.. Nope.. they were wrong.. The only thing on my mind is hate.. for what was done to me.. for what i had done to myself.. for what i let myself become.. but there is nothing else i can do about it now.. i have accepted defeat.. she won..

For all you people who want die.. one advice.. never jump off a cliff to die.. its scenic, the view, i know but the wait for death to happen is awful.. time does slow down terribly.. but you still can't save yourself after the plunge.. the other awful way to die is drowning.. but then what kind of suicide is not awful? Of course I didn't really choose my death.. I am not killing myself.. I am too sane to do that.. I am being murdered.. by the very person i trusted.. I should have seen it coming..

Damn! its taking too long.. well the least i could do is enjoy the sceanary. The sun was drowning in the sea.. There was a golden glow to the rocks below.. who am i kidding? i'm not such a big fan of the sunset.. She was.. In fact that was the first thing i told her when we first met.. she smiled as if she thought it was really funny..

Now that i am thinking of it all of our happy moments happened under the drowning sun. I still remember the only time i thought sunset was actually romantic.. that day she brushed her hair off her face and hid it behind her ear.. she had this gleaming smile like the sun in the sky itself when she told me she wanted to spend the rest of her life with me.. it was beautiful..

None of this would be happening if i hadn't found my best friend from my previous life that same day.. I invited her to my wedding just like she had invited her friends from college.. i should have known.. i should have seen my wife was not entirely happy on what was supposed to be the happiest day of our lives..

It had been just 5 months.. our marriage.. by that time she had found out.. my best friend from college days used to be much more than that to me.. I sure was totally over her but the love had blinded her.. she was visibly hurt.. every time we fought i was saddened by the whole fiasco but i sure was proud to have someone who cared.. she cared.. not the way i had hoped for but still..

I hadn't met her since my wedding.. I didn't even ask her for a contact number.. but there was something in her eyes that day we met.. she was the one who broke up with me in final year.. i just played along.. i meant there is very little you can do when someone you love begs you to leave them alone.. right?.. i think she regretted it..

Me and my wife were separated for 2 weeks now.. when she had called me to meet i thought the dust has finally settled.. i didn't know she would be calling me to push me down this cliff.. we talked about a lot of stuff.. she told me "I know first love is hard to forget, its the toughest thing anyone could do. but this is more tough for me, this life with you " .. can't really turn that around.. i tried to tell her i hadn't met her after the wedding.. She didn't seem disgusted by her name.. I think it was me who she was disgusted about.. She wasn't even angry.. she was sad..

I walked to the edge myself.. i couldn't bear the pain i was causing her.. if i had stayed on the edge for more than a few more minutes i would have jumped off myself.. there wan't much of talking going on for several minutes then.. i just stood there looking away at the drowning sun.. ironic.. i thought.. and then from no where came the shove.. i was thrown off a good two feet from the edge into the air.. and then the fall..

How could she do it? I loved her so much.. I knew she loved me too.. a lot.. i could feel that love even today.. just before i was thrown into death.. atleast it ends now.. all her pain.. all her doubt.. with my death..

The fall was coming to an end.. life didn't really flash in front of my eyes.. but all that I have loved my whole life did.. she was the best thing that had happened to me ever in my life.. that thought brought a smile on my face..

I crashed hard on one of the rocks.. couldn't feel a thing.. there was blood flowing into my eyes ..diluted my tears.. the golden glow around me went all red suddenly.. "..till death do us part" that was the promise i had made.. it ends here..

I can hear the chariots of heaven roaring down to take me home.. No.. thats a scream.. i tried to turn my head up.. damn.. i think i broke something.. couldn't move.. something fell a few feet away from me.. throwing up a curtain of blood into the breaking sea waves.. a chill ran down my already shattered spine.. No.. it can't be.. It was that guy from her college.. her friend.. she was not upset about my college love showing up.. she was scared of him.. it was not my past that killed me.. it was her past.. him.. and she killed him for that..

She was trying to save our marriage the whole time by making herself look bad.. she never said she hated me.. she wanted me to get away from her.. because she knew this was going to happen.. so.. this is how my story ends.. but what about her.. dead husband.. dead boyfriend.. oh no!.. i couldn't really finish processing that last thought i had.. i heard another splash not far from me..i couldn't turn to see who it was.. i didn't have to.. i know.. far away the sun had set.. on this day and on my life.. forever..

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